yep. I'm broken.
J and I have been together an eternity. Literally over half of my 34 years on this planet have been spent with him. I love him dearly. I don't just love him, I need him. I'm not the same person when he is not with me. All that being said, I would do anything on this planet for him. Why do I feel like he wouldn't do the same? I know he loves me, but I also know he is a guy, and sometimes, lets face it, men aren't exactly good at picking up on clues as to things us gals need. Like time. I NEED his time. I don't mean sit down across the room from one another while the TV is on and we don't speak, I could get the same emotional feeling from that if a stranger was sitting in his chair. And I don't mean the kind of time where we are discussing kids, and bills, and what needs to be done around the house. I mean quality time. The kind of time where the rest of the world is blocked out and it is just us.
While I do realize that men and women are different, and thus our needs are different, I feel like compromise is necessary. For years and years, all I've heard is that men need sex to feel like they are cared about. Ok, I can deal with that. But sometimes, I need attention when my clothes are on and my feet aren't up by my ears!
Begging for his attention is something I shouldn't have to do. Asking to feel like I'm a priority in his life is ridiculous. I shouldn't have to question it. Of course, it can be said that we've been together so long that I should be comfortable in knowing that...BULLSHIT. Date me, listen to me, treat me like you did a long time ago when we were young and our relationship was just starting. It may be something as stupid as sitting outside in the swing watching the chickens peck around and holding hands while the rest of the world is blocked out. I'm good with that. Just something that lets me know that my company is needed just as much as I need his. UGH.
